Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Change can be good...

I started this blog around this time last year. I had poured all my energy into the relationship I was in at the time and was unfulfilled, so this was my outlet. I find myself sitting in the exact same position at the moment, so I decided to reflect and think about the changes that are required for growth in RL and in SL. I consider myself to be old in RL and I lead a pretty boring life. I don't have many friends, I mostly socialize with family. I'm okay with that because i'm often awkward in social situations.

When I first started SL I used it as my outlet to express who I wanted to be in RL. Now that i'm at peace with myself and my life, it's hard for me to "express" feelings that I no longer desire. I desire more real and intimate interactions, and not just those superficial or on the surface.  There was not a party I missed years ago on SL, but now I feel just as out of place in a club in SL as I do in RL. I often just get up and walk away from the computer. I still enjoy SL. I have old friends and new friends that I enjoy spending time with. I've gotten better and better at photography, and in the right environment I really enjoy role play.

I found that in order for me to grow and create a space for myself on SL that i'm happy with and that I enjoy, I had to let go of certain energies... it's the reason i'm making this post. Some people I have released from my life may have had no warning and this may be the only way they can learn my true feelings. If that's you, I encourage you to keep reading. I found myself around the same types of people. Often our friendships started out genuine, but after the friendships develop and you see people for who they are and not who they've disguised themselves as, you realize that they're not good. Not good in a way that may not effect you initially, but over time begins to weigh you down. You take on their energy and their negativity, and in order for you to grow... in order for you to be happy... you have to cut them loose.

It took a year for me to realize this. Initially the people I was around in SL were amazing, the energy was great, and we had a lot of fun together. But slowly you pick up on characteristics of those people, you pick up on the energy they put out to others, and you realize how their negative energy has rubbed off on you... Before you know it, you're now putting out negativity yourself. At some point I realized that in order to free myself from these feelings, I had to free myself from the people that brought them. By nature i'm a really sensitive and caring person, but I had become insensitive and indifferent.... and in a social game, that isolates you from others. I got tired of feeling isolated. I got tired of having my natural feelings and thoughts stifled or neglected. Finally I just got tired of being unhappy.

I know this post is super long, but there was an element that you will enjoy other than me blabbing about myself. In freeing myself completely from that energy, I realized I needed to move completely out of communities, and find my own home base. So I bid on auction after auction trying to get my own land, and I was always outbid of course. I decided to just rent land from one of the most popular and oldest land rental companies on the grid, Anshex.

I'm so happy I did, I love my home, the prims and the price! ... So much so I did a house tour for you all! I hope you enjoy it! Change can be good... don't be afraid to make changes.